So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes