the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol