I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?