I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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