i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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