Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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