Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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