things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
