My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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