just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
