we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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