so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
