Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I still have a little drunk in my system
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
