We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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