I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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