im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
