Where is the hickey?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have fence marks all over my body
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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