Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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