1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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