i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
