Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize