He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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