she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
