Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
