And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
