are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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