Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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