our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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