please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
