My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.