Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks

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  (901): Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks http://tfl.nu/a6p7
  Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (2052)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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  (905): me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies. http://tfl.nu/dozm
  Replies (10) Good night (5285) Bad night (813)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face

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  (479): yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face http://tfl.nu/63az
  Replies (23) Good night (3645) Bad night (1305)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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  (313): Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts... http://tfl.nu/l45c
  Replies (6) Good night (2223) Bad night (1925)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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  (604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1847) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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  (404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb
  Replies (5) Good night (2270) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (960) Bad night (3233)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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  (479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (1585)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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  (616): I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct http://tfl.nu/hig4
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (508)
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  (650): View more from California

  There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.

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  (650): There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband. http://tfl.nu/3etq
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (1000)
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  (530): View more from California

  All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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  (530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx
  Replies (12) Good night (902) Bad night (1197)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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  (407): i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka http://tfl.nu/95pf
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (724)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it

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  (316): Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it http://tfl.nu/i3st
  Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name

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  (306): i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name http://tfl.nu/61nk
  Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen

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  (630): I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/zigq
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (91)

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