Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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  (757): I murdered the dance floor call the cops http://tfl.nu/jwsp
  Replies (14) Good night (2282) Bad night (636)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2567) Bad night (817)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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  (306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox http://tfl.nu/yceo
  Replies (66) Good night (4160) Bad night (1461)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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  (306): how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was. http://tfl.nu/gxs4
  Replies (18) Good night (4873) Bad night (1854)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  wow.

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  (219): NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh (1-219): wow. http://tfl.nu/be02
  Replies (38) Good night (6663) Bad night (2852)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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  (781): I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house. http://tfl.nu/8emi
  Replies (13) Good night (5811) Bad night (1486)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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  (340): $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end. http://tfl.nu/eqa9
  Replies (4) Good night (3631) Bad night (727)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere

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  (617): i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere http://tfl.nu/fh2k
  Replies (4) Good night (2622) Bad night (842)
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  (530): View more from California

  Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

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  (530): Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle. http://tfl.nu/p5r3
  Replies (15) Good night (1406) Bad night (1926)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?

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  (856): I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/uyqh
  Replies (2) Good night (1368) Bad night (525)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (419)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy

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  (281): all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy http://tfl.nu/zec6
  Replies (11) Good night (1068) Bad night (244)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already

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  (302): Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already http://tfl.nu/utft
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (304)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING

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  (410): SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING http://tfl.nu/00e7
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (904)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.

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  (509): We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend. http://tfl.nu/7hil
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (242)

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