dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>