Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.

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  (703): Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U. http://tfl.nu/bimg
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (440)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

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  (706): so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess http://tfl.nu/py20
  Replies (88) Good night (759) Bad night (5450)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (4000)
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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6504) Bad night (1259)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR

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  (804): no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR http://tfl.nu/vnpf
  Replies (10) Good night (896) Bad night (5167)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins

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  (757): Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank" (201): hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins http://tfl.nu/g5wh
  Replies (41) Good night (4506) Bad night (1351)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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  (513): Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/gja3
  Replies (14) Good night (1367) Bad night (4526)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

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  (+61): I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above? http://tfl.nu/c1r4
  Replies (7) Good night (1973) Bad night (697)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you

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  (816): i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you http://tfl.nu/on8e
  Replies (2) Good night (1804) Bad night (528)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3350) Bad night (546)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

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  (602): I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house. http://tfl.nu/wmzr
  Replies (11) Good night (887) Bad night (1126)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"

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  (404): If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy" http://tfl.nu/w6q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1351) Bad night (404)
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  (516): View more from New York

  YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.

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  (516): YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test. http://tfl.nu/ods7
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (320)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?

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  (+45): Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction? http://tfl.nu/7i71
  Replies (20) Good night (936) Bad night (1239)
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  (530): View more from California

  Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?

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  (530): Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....? http://tfl.nu/utko
  Replies (8) Good night (522) Bad night (276)

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