My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.