D3 body, D1 cock
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
