Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

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(814): I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive http://tfl.nu/iqgu

Replies (7) Good night (2046) Bad night (602)
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(818): View more from California

Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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(818): Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square. http://tfl.nu/gdo6

Replies (24) Good night (3057) Bad night (537)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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(321): You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called. http://tfl.nu/6o7h

Replies (12) Good night (1002) Bad night (5687)
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(416): View more from Toronto

he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...

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(416): he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun... http://tfl.nu/vbhp

Replies (10) Good night (5526) Bad night (1123)
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(716): View more from New York

She's like a pop up book from hell.

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(716): She's like a pop up book from hell. http://tfl.nu/grf5

Replies (18) Good night (1084) Bad night (4138)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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(303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan

Replies (11) Good night (1512) Bad night (6564)
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(937): View more from Ohio

just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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(937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0

Replies (17) Good night (1437) Bad night (5825)
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(517): View more from Michigan

All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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(517): All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/gnt9

Replies (12) Good night (3358) Bad night (1553)
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(585): View more from New York

Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.

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(585): Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably. http://tfl.nu/akzi

Replies (6) Good night (2349) Bad night (710)
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(770): View more from Georgia

He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

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(770): He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican. http://tfl.nu/lruh

Replies (21) Good night (1215) Bad night (570)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

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(269): We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him. http://tfl.nu/ojms

Replies (0) Good night (903) Bad night (476)
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(903): View more from Texas

We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

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(903): We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service. http://tfl.nu/lvor

Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (427)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something

(513): View more from Ohio

Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking

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(513): He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something (513): Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking http://tfl.nu/a3rg

Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (670)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.

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(848): Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem. http://tfl.nu/e34z

Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (918)
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(647): View more from Ontario

my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes

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(647): my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes http://tfl.nu/v9rt

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (233)

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