It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
