Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
