ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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