You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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