is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
