The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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