i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
