Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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