are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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