I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
