oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
