I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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