She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
