dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
