it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize