you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am midnight drunk by noon
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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