do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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