I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish you could order shots online.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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