so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
