I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
