ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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