Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
why is half of my head shaved?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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