Duck Duck Cougar?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we're making bets on your personal life
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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