Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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