All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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