I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize