I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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