he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
