R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
